99 beers and a cup of ramen
by Pandawasmyballpen
Summary: Kyubbi and Naruto had long since merged. An ambush attempt, 8 rounds of alcohol, a mistake on his part and coupled with bad luck sends a drunk Uzumaki facing another what? Naruto? Time travel fic


**Disclaimer: note the word FAN-fiction.**

**Summary:** **Kyubbi and Naruto had long since merged. An ambush attempt, 8 rounds of alcohol, a mistake on his part and coupled with bad luck sends a drunk Uzumaki facing another what? Naruto? Time travel fic**

**Prologue: **

_There are few known facts about the late fourth hokage. One, that he was called yellow flash_. Two, he was th_e only man able to use the most complicated and dangerous time bending jutsus, and _three_, he defeated the great nine tailed demon fox. Such is the embarrassment of many historians for lazing on their job, the only living people who could testify about the late fourth kage would be his mentor, the toad sannnin Jiraiya and Copy cat ninja Kakashi. Given the …eccentric persona of the former and the lack of influence of the latter, it is no wonder how a certain Uzumaki Naruto would turn up to be. One would wonder why Kami would bestow gre_at talent to simple-minded people

As would be proven time and time again as … 

…Jounin Naruto finds himself completely and utterly smashed stumbling out of a local bar with his equally smashed mentor Jiraiya swinging bottles of sake in the air and singing the most lewdest and brain melting songs in history of mankind at the top of their lungs.

Though their lodging was only a few blocks away it took Naruto and Jiraiya over an hour just to make it there. Along the way, Naruto had stopped to get sick, Jiraiya had wandered down a side road, trying to follow a man carrying watermelons he thought was a Tsunade, and they had tried to race a passing carriage and ended up failed miserably.

"Did-ja know, I have not been _to-o-o_ drunk before?" Naruto told the Jiraiya while he watched the older man jug down the liquor to his throat.

Jiraiya laughed. "With keepers like yours? I'm not surprised. If mama Iruka could see you now…" He made a face and did a quick impression of the chunnin. It had Naruto pause his rebuke and hiccuping until he suddenly hit his head hard on the alley wall and fall onto the floor, right in front of the old couple quickly hastening away.

Suddenly angry, Naruto stood up and kicked the wall hard making a crater of some sort.

"What was that for?" Jiraiya asked, shooting back another gulp of sake.

Naruto pulled a face. "Stupid tattletale, bad," Naruto managed, somehow having all of that make sense in his mind.

"You're drunk," the old man told him as a response.

"You're drunk," Naruto argued back.

"No you are."

"Nah uh," Naruto argued "Look what I can do!" Then he suddenly exploded in a cloud of smoke wiggling his hips in female form in front of a gleeful jiraiya.

Jiraiya began laughing immediately and tried to reach the blonde who drunkenly evaded as he stumbled about, tripping over his own feet hitting his head once more this time on street pole.

It was purely accidental that the same time he fell was the same time a few sharp edged shurikens flew overhead.

The sudden interlude of the projectiles quickly sobered Jiraiya up as he kicked Naruto on the ground. "What was…t_tha—that fooor_ Ero-senninnn!" Naruto asked irritatingly out of a ring of smoke around him as his henge was released. He suddenly scrambled away when a fire jutsu was heading for him. "_Shi-eyt_."

Naruto stumbled as he got to his feet and blurred away in a flash of yellow avoiding a swipe from a kunai by hair's length and countering with a clumsy punch that still managed to knock the guy/guys away since he isn't too sure with the blurred duplicates about. He blinked and jumped back landing on elevated ground teetering dangerously before catching himself as he observed with childish awe as the ground softened and turned to mud because of Jiraiya's technique. No matter that he had seen it a thousand times. He hiccuped and suddenly became annoyed at the thought of being showed up. "I…_I_ could do jutsu _to-oo"_

He put his fingers together and formed clumsily a sting of seals, the logical side of him screamed and cursed out loud when his thumb slipped. _This won't end well._

The furious yelling from Jiraiya was the last thing that Naruto remembered before the drink took hold of him and the world turned black.


End file.
